What It Means To Be An Artist... For Me, At Least

This thought came to be when a friend of mine posed the question:

"What public figure has had the greatest impact on your personal philosophy?" 

And a plethora of people came into my mind, but at the same time, I try my best to not idolize any public figures. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there are specific traits to admire about this person (and traits you should completely avoid, ha).

The person I immediately thought of was Vincent Van Gogh. Which is completely cliché of me to say, but I've been reading his biography Van Gogh: The Life, which is such a tome of a novel—a whopping 976 pages, albeit, I'm sure about 100-200 pages are just pure lists of source material. But this book has easily taken me roughly 8 months to complete... Maybe even longer. I've honestly lost track (and hope, ha). 

Anyways, I'm not a Van Gogh expert by any means and most of the information I'll be sharing in this blog post can be easily Googled. But I did always have a fascination with him since taking Art History at my community college. No one can deny that there almost seems to be a "mystique" about him... But it could be the undiagnosed mental illness and the fact he cut off his ear. 

I digress.

Let me share some background on him and how his approach to making art influences my own philosophy in art.

It's no surprise that Van Gogh was known to live in poverty essentially his whole life. He actually intentionally lived like a vagrant, traveling from place to place, from hostel to hostel. And it was famously said that whatever money he could scrimp up (most likely provided by his brother Theo), he'd spend it on painting materials and supplies rather than food or clothing. 

I'm not idolizing this in any way because I (personally) believe you need to take care of yourself in order to produce good work. At least, that's how I'll be able to function. I can't paint when I'm constantly worrying about when I'll have my next meal or when my next paycheck is coming in. My headspace for art would be nonexistent at this point.

But in a way, Van Gogh was a free spirit. He virtually had no responsibility to anyone except himself, and the only responsibility was to paint. 

Now this sounds like I'm romanticizing the life of poverty all for the sake of art. Call it the "tortured poet" or "starving artist" method. I'm really not! But let me continue because I actually have a strong point to make about this. 

He was one of the most prolific artists in history, producing roughly 860 paintings over the course of his lifetime, and his career as an artist was very short considering he only started at the age of 30, and he passed at the age of 37. 

There's two things I want to point out: 

1. It's never too late to be an artist.
   
2. Perfectionism is the main killer to art/artists.
   

If you think about it, even though his paintings were actually quite complex, his way of thinking was very simplified. He did not care about being "perfect" and sometimes, the meaning of perfect is very subjective, anyways. But he never changed his style of painting to appease buyers—to try and at least get a dime or a dollar for food. 

Landscape paintings were very sought after during his time. Patrons were not seeking colorful, emotional, or explosiveness that was found in his work. In fact, it was the opposite. They were seeking something quiet and subdued, something that represented the every day "neutralness". I'd like to call this the "Beige Mom Aesthetic", but 19th century version, ha.

When he was in the Saint-Paul Asylum in Saint-Rémy after cutting his ear off, that's when he painted Starry Night, probably his most famous painting ever. He painted that from pure imagination through his bedroom celled window while admiring the Parisian hills and not only that, he painted it during the day. And that tiny little town that we see down in the valley? That's imaginary, too. The whole painting was made up of artistic choices, intentions and decisions on his part.

(Image Source: MoMA)

"At present I absolutely want to paint a starry sky. It often seems to me that night is still more richly coloured than the day; having hues of the most intense violets, blues and greens."

More points I'd like to bring up:

1. A reminder that he painted Starry Night when he was actually receiving proper attention for his mental "ailments". He also had consistent food and shelter at the asylum. So more likely than not, his mental state was probably the best it's been (or ever).
2. Therefore, this could make a point that seeking help for his mental illness actually made him work more creatively, as his head was more clear and imaginative without the heaviness that constantly clouded his thoughts. Or the fact he wasn't hungry anymore and had to worry about finding shelter for the night. I'm convinced that if he received the proper attention and care for his mental illness, he actually would've produced more works, more masterpieces, more pieces like Starry Night.
   (* This argument is me also going back to my point not romanticizing the "tortured" or "starving" artist. You need to take care of yourself before you can start producing art.)

I mentioned his brother Theo earlier. 

A lot of art historians (and even my college Art History professor) definitely over-sentimentalized their relationship, but it's easy to see why. 

Rijswijk set the pattern; and it would not change for the rest of his life: nostalgia as antidote for loneliness; the past as remedy for the present. Immediately after Theo's departure, Vincent began writing him: "Waarde Theo" (Dear Theo), "I missed you the first few days; it felt strange not to find you there when I came home in the afternoons." It was the beginning of a correspondence that would grow into one of the great documents of the human experience.

- Van Gogh: The Life, page 77

Over the course of their intertwined lives, they wrote hundreds of letters to each other. And this is how and why we know so much about Vincent's life because Theo (lovingly) kept all letters ever received from Vincent. Rich in detail and context, it is revealed that Vincent was not only a highly intelligent individual (the man could speak 3 languages), but emotionally intelligent as well. Honestly could've probably been a poet if he tried. 

(*I will say, some of my favorite things while reading Van Gogh: The Life, it was actual pulled quotes from Vincent's letter to Theo). 

But their relationship was always rocky. Long story, short: they always argued about money. Vincent expecting Theo to take care of him financially, Theo wondering why it was his responsibility to take care of his older brother. 

In the end though, Theo did end up supporting Vincent financially his whole life. And they are currently buried next to each other in Paris (this makes my heart clench). 

So here comes the main point of this blog post... My "philosophies", or what it means to be an artist for me: 

1. Romanticizing the life of a starving artist will get you nowhere, except an empty stomach and unnecessary stress. Take care of yourself first and your art will follow.
2. Don't try to change your style just to fit the mold of normal expectations or what you think would "sell". Chasing trends will ruin or dampen your original voice.
3. Perfectionism is the silent killer for art/artists. Express yourself messily, painfully, boldly, genuinely, authentically. 
4. And lastly... Well, I'll let Van Gogh make the last point:

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”
- Van Gogh

I've always believed there is never a right or wrong way to creating art. Sure, there are passed down techniques and methods. But it's all up to the human to utilize these techniques and implement them in however or whichever way they'd like (this is clearly me taking a stab at AI art). 

There's beauty in going against the grain, in individuality, in expressing yourself so much that you can't hold it in. That you must be expressed. 

So I guess what I'm saying, in more blunter tones than what Vinny said: 

If you want to make art, just fucking make art. 

If you're curious to see what’s come out of this space lately, take a peek at my most recent paintings here or follow along on my socials (Instagram, Tiktok and Pinterest) for latest updates. Or you could sign up for my newsletter to stay up-to-date on new completed artwork, blog posts, available work, content and more. 

Until next time!